BodyStuck
by KyoyaKun
Summary: John screws up again, but this time he can't fix it. He ends up switching bodies with Karkat after messing around with an ectomachine, things get a bit rough as they both struggle with their new found features and abilities. Mischief ensues. JohnKat, slight Dave/John, Sollux/Karkat, mostly Karkat x John/ John x Karkat.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is upon request, John screws up again- no shocker, but this time he can't fix it. He tends to screw with an ectomachine and switch bodies with Karkat. Thats enough said.**

**On another note, Im doing another story that is also requested, A GamTav one. That story is going to be put around tomorrow, and to note; it is human not a troll one. :P I looked over some 4chords, and thought maybe I should make a human homestuck story for once. The ideas!- also if you would like to give ideas or just I dont know, chat about stuff let me know! That part is towards the end of the chapter.**

***See end of Chapter for updating notes.**

**Rated: T- Language and mention of mild sexual themes.**

* * *

**Chapter 1- Friendly Leading**

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.

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"IF IM AN ASSHOLE THEN STRIDER IS EVERY SHITSTAINED PATHETIC MIX OF A WRIGGLER THAT IS KNOWN. HE IS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE HUMAN RACE WITH A LAME ASS OBESSION OVER 'COOL' TWISTED IN HIS FEBLE HALF BRAINED MIND- CORRECTION DEAD IS MORE LIKE IT. HE CAN NOT PROCESS SUCH KNOWLEDGE THAT SPILLS FROM MY WORDHOLE. I PLATIONCALLY HATE HIM MORE THAN MYSELF. THAT IS REALLY FUCKING SAD."

Karkat slammed his fist down on his keyboard, growling with a few clicks escaping his throat. The human on the other side of the computer screen let out a giggle. He tended to make 'those sounds' whenever he would rage quit or just rage.

"Sorry Karkat, jeez you don't have to be all mean towards Dave. He's cool! He-…"

"LET ME FUCKING STOP YOU THERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING MAKE ME CLAW OUT MY THINKPAN AND POSSIBLY CAUSE MY EARDOCKS TO BLEED OUT, RESULTING IN THE WORST CULLING I COULD EVER FACE IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN. ONE, STRIDER IS A FUCKING DOUCHE. TWO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE 'FRIENDS' WITH A NOOKSUCKER? ARE YOU THAT PITIFUL? AND I DO NOT MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY GOGDAMNIT."

Karkat looked at the screen, his eyes locking with the human's on the other side of the chat. John gave a sheepish grin before looking down at seemed to be his keyboard.

"Uh… I... can we not talk about this? I kinda feel… - uh- Hey! Did you know we are coming over?"

He could have put himself out of his misery that moment, the keyboard looked so inviting for his head to be bashed upon, but thought it over as that fucking smile of Strider's flashed through his mind. FUCK NO, he wouldn't cull himself just to have that shit mock him. Recently he and that moron had gotten into strife- no more like almost killing each other- fuck, no words could describe it. He fucking hated that human to the point he wanted to shove those plastic shades up his-

"HEY! Are you listening?"

Karkat glared.

"Yes John, I was fucking listening."

"Then what did I say?"

"You fucking said that I was right and your were fucking wrong, end of fucking story. And something about you coming over to torment me."

John giggled at the last part.

"No silly, we are coming to stay for a few weeks! Dave kinda screwed the machine up...and it sort of … uhm... so we have nowhere to stay. Isn't this going to be fun, we all could have one big sleepover! OH, we could watch Con-Air!"

Karkat couldn't resist smashing his head on his grubtop. He would have said 'fuck you' or simply rejected everything and just flipped the table, but he wasn't in charge of it. One thing he could possibly have control over, he didn't.

That made his anger rise, not only he wasn't in charge of this fucking event, but it was Vriska who insisted it. How the fuck did she do it? He didn't want to fucking know. All he cared for is that fuckass was to be as far away from him as possible. He didn't mind locking himself in his room for an entire span of days. As long as he had his rom-coms, he was set.

"Hey Karkat? Where are we going to sleep?"

Shit, he forgot about that.

"Uh… you wrigglers can share rooms. Dave can fucking sleep in a cardboard box. I guess your friends can pair up with some of us."

John let out a small hum; he bit his bottom lip in thought.

"Dave can sleep in Terezi's room! He said something about taking the couch but he should be fine there. Rose can be with Kanaya since they are really close it seems…." John let a small blush dust his cheeks, before shaking his head to clear that thought.

This didn't go unnoticed by the troll. In fact he found himself smirking.

"Karkat why are y-you smirking?"

The said troll looked up, the grin growing in mischief.

"The fuck are you stuttering for Egbert? That I don't know already."

"No reason! I asked you a question first Karkat!"

This might be fun; Karkat leaned against his chair, continuing to troll the human.

* * *

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUCK! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!"

This wasn't such a good idea after all.

Karkat slammed the bucket down once he had gotten if off his head. He snarled looking for the culprit, John was screwed.

_~Flash Back~_

_Karkat thrummed his fingers on his grubtop; some idiot started pestering him about how to fix shit that was broken, AGAIN. Seriously couldn't these people do a single thing without fucking it up?_

_A knock sounded against the door, causing him to furiously type a 'fuck you' and close the chat. Once up, he treaded towards the door, opening it slightly. He peeked outside to see no one, but just to hear a low giggle._

_John. Fucking. Egbert._

_He thought he had gotten rid of the human, for he threatened to destroy that poster he so obsessively kept in the back of his closet. Karkat had stumbled upon it once, by looking for his missing shirt._

_"JOHN GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY RESIDING BLOCK NOW!"_

_Another giggle._

_Growling, Karkat slammed the door open, just to have a cold- no FUCKING FREEZING bucket of water fall on his head. That wasn't the worst part; the worst part was the BUCKET. Of all things he could have done it HAD TO BE A FUCKING BUCKET?!_

_Karkat turned his gaze at the human that stepped from behind an adjacent doorway._

_Shit is about to hit the whirling device._

~End of Flash Back~

Karkat now held his sickle in his hand while running through the hallways. John was ahead of him, using the windy thing to set obstacles in front of Karkat. He went a little too far, but it was too late, for Karkat was seething.

John quickly turned into a lab before running into Sollux and Rose.

"AUGH! Watch where your goiing!"

"John are you alright? May I ask why you are running through a heavily machined area? It is quite dangerous."

John looked up and took Rose's hand that she offered before dusting himself off, and explaining.

"So… that how this thing started… hehe sorry." Sollux stifled a laugh before looking over the door way.

"You're lucky KK diidn't kiill you from the thtart."

"Speaking of, where is he?"

Just in time, Karkat slammed the door to the lab open. His sickle gripped tightly in his hand.

"FUCKASS!" He lunged at John, but was caught by Sollux.

"KK calm the fuck down."

After a few minutes Karkat had calmed down, and stored away his weapon.

He sat across from John, his face still a bit red from the incident. Sollux teased Karkat about how they would nicely fill a quadrant, earning a questioning look from John and growl from the troll. John giggled as he watched Karkat argue with his troll friend, a blush visible on his face.

If only he knew what the quadrant ordeal meant. John decided he would ask whenever he and Karkat were alone.

* * *

John glanced over the buttons on the machine. Sollux and Rose went over on how to alchemize things, but he forgot already. This was way different from any machine he worked with during the game. The game was long over, but sometimes they would try to alchemize things to avoid any money shortage.

"Uh….. Karkat?"

"Don't fucking tell me you didn't listen on how to work this shit."

John looked down before shaking his head.

"Well then we are fucked. I don't know how to work this either. You're going to have to scrape some knowledge from your think pan and figure this shit out."

He didn't know how to work the buttons; he also didn't know which machine was the food making one.

"I uh… kinda don't know which machine is… the one we need to make food…"

Karkat facepalmed.

"Haven't seen one of those in a while! Hehe, two facepalm combo!"

The troll growled and pushed John to the side.

"Look nookwif, let's just fucking figure this out before Rose human goes on about one of her annoying scolding on how we lack in some proper shit, on how to work fucking together like fucking wrigglers that you so happen to be. – And if that asshole of a friend of yours blames me for screwing shit up for some damned reason so help him."

John nervously looked over the machine again.

"Uh Karkat…"

"FUCKING PUSH THE DAMN BUTTONS!"

John winced and pressed both hands down onto the machine, a loud humming signaling the machine coming to life. John smiled, thinking he actually figured it out, even if it was a guess.

A screen popped up, indicating its purpose. It was an ectomachine. The one they didn't want to screw around with in a place like this.

"John what the fuck did you push."

John gave Karkat a nervous glance as images flashed across the screen, and buttons lighting up.

"Uh… I think this an ectomachine…."

"A WHAT?! THE FUCK DID YOU SAY EGBERT!"

John opened he mouth, but closed it as the machine displayed a message in green lettering.

"Is... that some weird language?"

Karkat didn't respond, but only stared at John, teeth bearing.

"You're such a dumbass."

Karkat didn't get to push them away, as they were both engulfed in a white light.

* * *

** READ:**

** So a few ideas come from cosplay and RPS...Also if you guys would like to be a part of some of my activities I do with friends let me know! I would like to get to know my readers~!**

**Next update is: 7 Days from this update**

**GamTav Update: The day after this update**

**Preview:**

"Oh gog Ebgert, I know your an alien but...the fuck is going on down there?!"

John failed his arms, or in other words Karkat's, and tackled him to the floor.

"Thats not cool! Bro's don't put bro's hands down their pants!"

Karkat growled, but it instead of scaring the idiot, he made him laugh.

Fuck this shit.

A soft click of the lab's sliding door sounded throughout the room, causing both boys to turn their heads towards it. Dave stood at the door way, hand hovering over the button still.

"D-Dave! Its not what it looks like!"

Karkat stood up and ascended towards the human.

"IM JOHN EGBERT AND I FONDLE MY SHAME GLOBES!"

John gasped and quickly joined Karkat.

"DAVE DONT LISTEN TO HIM. IM JOHN AND HES KARKAT, WE MESSED AROUND WITH THE ECTOMACHINE! AND HES LYING I DO NOT DO THAT!"

Dave stood there, poker faced.

Dave absconded.

"Egbert way to fucking go."

"Shut up."


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the next chapter, basically in this chapter they get found out- but not before Dave's little freak out. Dave will be a bit scarred for awhile, he can take it like the man he claims to be. Hm.. this seemed a bit rushed...**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Chapter 2- Mischievous**

"JOHN FUCKING EGBERT, CHANGE US BACK THIS FUCKING INSTANT!"

The times John could screw up, he fucking sure knew a great time- not really. His screw ups before were nothing compared to this. Karkat had to praise him; the boundaries of idiot have been surpassed.

Karkat had switched bodies with John.

"Oh wow, haha, this is so cool! This is a great opportunity for my prankster's gambit!"

Karkat growled.

Karkat hated being in this… fleshy, body of John's. The skin was fragile, he figured that out the minute John had scraped his- er now John's claws against Karkat. He tried to hurt John, but as he figured, his skin was tough- trolls had tough skin, so blunt human nails couldn't do much damage. He was at a disadvantage.

"John you're not fucking serious about going out there and pretending to be me. You're out of your fucking mind and asking to be culled."

John smiled, making Karkat flinch. Karkat would have to cease that, for he never had smiled in front of anyone, or for any fucking body.

"John go out there, and so help me Gog I will fucking-"

Teasingly, John stepped towards the door.

"This is hard to pass up! Seriously, this gambit."

Karkat had no choice, he did what he had to do, but he could have done something else.

He shoved his hands into his pants.

"Karkat!"

"Oh Gog Egbert, I know your an alien but...the fuck is going on down there?!"

John failed his arms, or in other words Karkat's, and tackled him to the floor.

"That's not cool! Bro's don't put bro's hands down their pants!"

Karkat growled attempting to bare his non-existing fangs, but it instead of scaring the idiot, he made him laugh.

Fuck this shit.

A soft click of the lab's sliding door sounded throughout the room, causing both boys to turn their heads towards it. Dave stood at the door way, hand hovering over the button still.

"D-Dave! It's not what it looks like!"

Karkat stood up and ascended towards the human.

"IM JOHN EGBERT AND I FONDLE MY SHAME GLOBES!"

John gasped and quickly joined Karkat.

"DAVE DONT LISTEN TO HIM. IM JOHN AND HES KARKAT, WE MESSED AROUND WITH THE ECTOMACHINE! AND HES LYING I DO NOT DO THAT!"

Dave stood there, poker faced.

Dave absconded.

"Egbert way to fucking go."

"Shut up."

* * *

Dave never had been so… scarred ever in his life. He had never thought his friend, his bro, had been like that, and to even stoop so low to an alien like Karkat. That was just wrong, so wrong that the image burned his mind for the remaining walk to the living space.

"Rose… I think we lost John."

Rose turned her head from her conversation with Kanaya. It must have been some tea party he had crashed; besides, the damned tea set was out.

Dave shivered; he hated tea parties, mainly when rose forced him to play with her when they were little. He never had thought she had dresses to go along, not only that but he could probably find some picture his bro had taken, even though he was sure he burned them all.

"Sorry girls, looks like this party got crashed, but we got some serious shit."

Gently setting down her tea cup, she folded her hands in her lap before speaking.

"Dave, I'm sure he is in the lab you just came from. If I recall, I heard his voice saying something quiet… unnatural, but do tell what had occurred in there."

"Shit... I don't know where to start, I don't know what the fuck happened, but John had his hands down his pants. And Vant-ASS was there with him. He had his hands down his own pants I think too."

Rose blinked while Kanaya quietly set her own tea cup down.

* * *

"Oh man… Dave must have so thought I was homosexual just now. What if he tells everyone?! I got to get out of here and stop him!"

John was quickly pulled back, when Karkat grabbed him.

"Nookwif, there are some things you need to know before running out there, like the fucking idiot you are. If we are going to be out, there has to be some grounds."

Karkat had taught most of the things he could while being in the human's body. John, on the other hand, sucked completely at it.

"JOHN GET ME THE FUCK DOWN, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW FUCKASS!" John couldn't help but laugh, teaching Karkat the windy thing was a complete fail, but it sure was funny.

Karkat had tried to use John's powers but instead of blowing the object, he had blown himself backwards into the wall, having his ass stuck in the wall. John had to admit, that was the best laugh he had in a long time.

He should switch them more often.

"ARRAAAAGGH!"

Or not.

John winced as a strong gust of wind sent him crashing into the ectomachine, breaking it.

_Shit._

The machine as broken, now they really couldn't change back if they wanted to.

"Hehehe….. oops…."

Karkat forced himself out of the wall, and lunged at John.

Rose took the wrong time to check upon Dave's request.

"John, Karkat? I- …. I see you're in a moment… "

John looked up; yellow eyes showing panic, while Karkat's blue showed _'fuck off'_. Rose flinched a bit, thinking John was still john and vice versa for Karkat.

"John... are you alright?"

Karkat scowled and pushed himself off. "Rose human."

Rose blinked.

"Uh… Rose I think I- We need to tell you what happened."

"John, I know about your sexuality, you don't need to hide it it's alright."

John failed his- Karkat's arms in protest, a red flush appearing over his face once more.

"I-I am not homosexual and I don't have a problem with my sexuality! Uh.. listen, me and Karkat were messing around with the ectomachine and… Uh…"

"John fucking screwed shit up, and now the machine is broken and we can't change back. Not only that, but Sollux is going to flip his shit, along with everyone else. We can't have that happening. So are you going to stand there and fucking gape at your new fond understanding or are you going to fucking help us?"

Rose paused for a moment, before shaking her head.

* * *

Breaking it to his friends wasn't easy, Karkat was totally against it, but at least not all the trolls knew.

It was safe for the humans and Kanaya to know but no one else. Karkat planned on not telling Sollux, but that somehow got slipped from the idiot's mouth. Sollux indeed did flip his shit, along with a nearby table- but that was alright, for that table landed on Eridan and broke its fall.

The fish fuck was okay, but that's not the point.

Karkat now had to sit through boring lectures on how to act like John. Honestly, John could pick better movies, instead of the shitty ones he watched. Karkat tried not to gag at the lack of rom-coms and emotion; did humans seriously not appreciate the culture of true movies?

He would have to teach John later on.

"Hey asshole, are you listening?"

Karkat snapped out of his daze and growled, the stupid teeth got in the way again, making yet another fuck up laugh. He didn't want to satisfy Dave the least bit, his screwing up of a simple growl made that even shittier than it was already.

"This is going to be hell of a fun lesson."

* * *

John couldn't be more confused than he had ever been than now; he had to learn all these... weird… language of the trolls and their culture... not to mention a few… embarrassing things he rather not talk about.

The most embarrassing thing was the troll body. He thought his dad was bad, but the way Sollux had to break it down, put his dad's 'talks' to shame.

"And thiith iith the bone bulge" Sollux pointed to the diagram on the computer screen. Sollux had offered some of Karkat's rom-coms, but Karkat would cull him if he knew he found his _'secret' _stash under his bed.

"Sollux I think that's… Uh enough…Oh my fucking- turn that off!" John hid under a nearby desk, causing Sollux only to enjoy this more; but a bit of pity was there, maybe it was because it was Karkat's body and not John's, human was in. Damn, either way this wasn't good for him to feel this way, Karkat would cull him for that.

"Heheh, alriight thatth enough."

John slowly crept out after making sure it was clear.

A red tint covered his cheeks, making it all the laughable.

John sure regretted this.

* * *

**Ugh... finally get to go with the plot some more. After the lessons the boys took on about themselves, its time for some mischief!**

**The next update is in 7Days.**

**Preview:**

"AAAHH TEREZI STOP!" John quickly tried to break free, but got tackled to the floor.

Karkat stood on the side and laughed it all up. John finally is getting a taste of his own pranks, Karkat was a bit happy that he could use this human body to his advantage.

"Ooh Karkles you taste so... whats the flavor? I cant tell!"

John broke free long enough to glare at Karkat.

It was fucking on.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is short, but the next is tending to be a bit longer than the previous ones. Ergh, cant give away too much.**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Chapter 3- Homosexual**

"GET ME OUT OF THIS WRIGGLER BODY!" Karkat screamed to no one but himself as he fell backwards into his movie pile.

He had been through hell.

He had to learn the fucking human body and how the fuck it worked, he never had been asking to be culled in his whole life until now, culling sounded a fucking twisted shitty miracle right this moment. It was better than… Strider's lessons.

Strider.

That nook stain-shit eating- grub fucking- DOUCHE BAG.

Karkat groaned as he shifted to get comfortable, he couldn't even enjoy his pile because the wriggler body was so fucking sensitive. He hissed as he rubbed his side that would leave a bruise later on- John wouldn't stop bitching on how he treated his body if he founded out.

After shifting some more, being fed up and rage-kicking the pile, he drug his feet to the bathroom.

* * *

John recently got done with his own lessons, lessons that did indeed shun his father's_ 'birds and the bees'_ talk. John couldn't even look at a bucket without certain thoughts coming to mind, he now felt slight pity towards Karkat on how he always used to torment him.

Karkat had been so sensitive about that and- wait did that_ 'torment' _and the pranking actually… no fucking way, he wasn't homosexual, he didn't even know anything about buckets until now- that didn't count!

"You're not homosexual, just relax and finish up drying off…" John quietly said to himself as he turned on the blow dryer.

Karkat took this time to barge in.

His eyes widened as he looked at John and the dryer, then back at John. In his mind, he thought John was about to take his life, what a wuss, but a fucking idiot at the same time.

"NO JOHN DON'T DO IT!"

John didn't have time to react as he was slammed to the floor, dryer unplugging itself in the process. Karkat growled as the thing hit his head, but soon took he object and threw it against the floor.

"There, I fucking saved your life-"

"KARKAT WHAT THE HELL?! THE FUCK IM INDECENT!"

John bared his- or Karkat's fangs at the other.

"Look… I know your species is void on any fundamental use, and being in a troll body seems to be a horrible thing to you, but you CANT END YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS- natural selection will eventually take its turn and you will all die- BUT PLEASE DON'T END YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS JOHN, I.. Fuck... "

John was about to kick, claw,- fuck whatever he could do right now, but that look seemed to make all anger disappear from his being that moment.

Karkat he was… crying?

"Karkat…?"

The said troll jerked away as John reached out for him.

"Fuck off…"

John grabbed Karkat by the face, claws digging into his cheeks whenever he would try to look elsewhere. Karkat winced, a slight whimper escaped from his throat, causing a faint blush to creep onto his face.

"Karkat, that wasn't a gun.. that was a blow dryer."

The other gave a disapproving sound as he tempted on biting the offending hands.

John giggled as the blunt teeth tickled his skin.

"Oh man, ahaha, human teeth aren't a threat after all."

Karkat muffled a 'fucking told you so Egbert' before releasing. He wiped the tears before being forced to look up again.

Pity.

Fucking pity, it had to be that look, that very look that drove Karkat insane. John felt sorry for him, what because he seemed he gave a…well he did care for the fucking human, but to no special extent- so he thought. He had felt something towards the nook- John once, but that fucking 'homosexual' thing the humans went by ruined it. Karkat never had gotten that, why did gender really fucking matter. He understood the part on reproducing.. but what just about... plain caring?

Karkat never understood it, nor will he ever on John's view. Every time he had said that, even when Karkat wasn't black flirting or red flirting back then- it hurt.

It would hurt even more after this.

Karkat ignored the lurching of his stomach, as he smashed lips onto John's.

* * *

**Preview of next chapter:**

**The feeling of those claws were both arousing and painful at the same time.**

**He wouldn't tell Karkat that though, that was the last thing he wanted anyone to know- to know that he John Egbert, secretly crushed on the short tempered troll known as Karkat Vantas.**

**The next update is in 7 days.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ugh.. late update, had a bit of a 'fuck this shit!' moment and urge to flip tables. This is a bit of a filler, and might seem to be rushed in a few places.**

****See the end of the chapter for a important note!**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Chapter 4- Horns over Heels**

One thing Karkat regrets is being a fucking failure to lead his team, and cause them to die- even though his friends assured him he didn't cause anything really; he still gave a 'fuck you' and stormed off as usual. This time, he regretted letting his flushed feelings get in the way of a 'good friendship' and practically having shit hit the damned whirling device yet again.

Did he mention he was a fucking wriggler? - He Karkat fucking Vantas; had ran out of the room without a glance back, because he didn't want to hear the other complain on how he isn't a 'homosexual' or how 'friend leaders don't act this way Karkat!'- He couldn't handle that.

Karkat also found it weird that he practically was kissing himself in a way, his flushed crush was in his body at the moment, and it was a bit ….. Fucked up.

"Yo John you alright dude? I saw you and VantASS- did he do something to you, I will fucking kill that shit." Karkat stifled a growl before sitting up from his- er John's bed.

The human had told Dave about how they switched bodies, but the idiot being an idiot he was, didn't believe it, and passed it by as another prankster's gambit ordeal. Karkat didn't fucking care, he told John that the wriggler didn't need to know anything about them or what they did. He made the other flush slightly, before being told he worded rather... suggestively in a different matter then it turned out.

"Fuck off you incapable sack of- I mean…." Karkat remember the way John acted, he acted rather... nice to his friends, even when he seemed pissed he tried to put on the 'friend leader' act.

"Dave… it's nothing really."

Dave's eyebrow lifted above his shades, indicating a questioning gaze.

"Bro, your voice is a bit off, you sick, did Vantass-"

"Stop talking about him!"

Karkat shoved his hands over his mouth a bit too late, for Dave raised another eyebrow before taking off his shades and sitting beside him.

"Look bro, I know you have this 'no homo' thing going on, but are you sure you don't have the hots for that troll? I mean, it took me awhile to get used to TZ, but damn she's the one for me."

It took every ounce of willpower not to shove Dave on the floor and rip his throat out for talking about 'TZ' that way, and to him for that matter.

That was a sore subject.

"The fuck does it matter Strider?"

Dave laughed. LAUGHED. Fuck this shit.

"You bulge fucking nookwif! I will shove those words back down your protein chute so you choke on them!"

Dave's eyes widened as he hit the floor, attempting to be choked. It didn't last long, for he was bit stronger than John- or Karkat in his situation.

"HEY! Dude, is this for real- Vantas?"

"The fuck does it look like, I fucking told you I am stuck in this fleshy human body."

Dave blinked mouth agape before shutting it and putting on his shades again.

"What's wrong? You didn't get to screw John over like you usually do?"

"Whoa whoa dude, I'm not like that... I mean, John can take things the wrong way so yeah, probably- no! It's not like that!"

Karkat smirked, he finally flustered the Strider kid, this was rich in so many levels of 'in your fucking Striding face'.

"Dave."

He hated to call the idiot by his first name, but if they had to fool others, they had to play along.

"Karkat."

"Dave we have to pretend you don't know who I am, besides the ones that already know. Rose, Kanaya, and John himself is fine. Sollux is fine too, but probably is more freaked out about his broken machine more than anything. Don't tell anyone not even Terezi."

Dave seemed to understand and sat up extending his hand.

"Alright Vantass, we shall pretend in front of the others that don't know about this- but that doesn't mean we are close."

Karkat laughed before extending his own hand and griping rather tightly.

"Fuck you and your feelings."

* * *

"Dude… you do flush for John."

Karkat regretted telling Strider most of the shit that went down.

Dave swung his arm about Karkat, being that another person came into the room.

"Man you gotta relax, that guy probably digs you too! If you get past the 'no homo'."

Vriska happened to hear a bit of the conversation.

"Oh Joooooooohn? Someone has a crush on him? They better be worthy enough."

Karkat shivered as Vriska proceeded to wrap her arms around his shoulders. If only she found out about the switch, oh would her fucking ego be fucked up.

"You know Dave, you better tell this girl or whoever it is to back off, John is mine."

Karkat wanted to do many things right now, none of them including sparing her life. He wanted to scream and say John was his- this overwhelming feeling to do so kept bubbling up along with a churn in his stomach. Fuck human emotions, fuck emotions and flushed feeling all together! They got him nothing but confusion and painful-

"Uh Vriska, I think John here has his eye on someone else. Hate to kill your ego bubble there."

Strider is useful.

The spider girl huffed and flipped her hair before standing up and giving Karkat a longing look. Karkat tried to give that buck toothed grin he seen John do, but ended up biting back a swearing insult instead.

"What's going on here?"

John.

"Oh Karkat… good timing I was about to leave. Dave here says John has someone he likes- I doubt it, no one has anything as much in common as a certain someone and him."

The other seems to freeze slightly, before relaxing again. Karkat caught his gaze urging him not to give anything away.

"Get the fuck out of here already Vriska!" John shooed her away, causing her to stomp back upstairs.

Karkat blinked, damn he really had a backbone after all- wait something triggered him. Did he and Vriska get into something? Karkat felt the churning again and the sudden urge to be sick- he needed to lay down.

John must have caught on, for he rushed around finding something to contain any spilled fluid. Dave just sat there asking Karkat if he was okay- fuck no he wasn't okay.

"Here Karkat! Uhm it's the best I can find." John fearing he wouldn't make it in time threw the object towards Karkat.

Fucking seriously… of all the fucked up things he could have done it had to be A FUCKING BUCKET.

"FUCKING SH-…."

A loud 'DONG' rang out in the room, followed by Karkat's body hitting the floor.

The other boy looked up with a smile, but soon faltered at the glare that shot back at him. He looked at Karkat then down at the bucket, and once again before making a quiet 'oh…fuck.', before running out the room.

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**CHRISTMAS! KJNDGIUNDFIUNDKJNXKJCNXVKJNX VC- anyways, there is a bonus story I did, so it will be updated on Christmas Day! Its a 2 chapter story, its short but sweet.**

**Anyways, PesterChum, just found that it existed...I have added some fans of HomeStuck :D And you guys are very fun to talk to and appreciate the comments you leave on the stories, so thank you all for reading. If anyone else has a PesterChum, let me know! I use some ideas if anyone has them.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS.**

**The last chapter update is in 7 days from this update.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This Chapter is short, but its the ending. Trying not to get smut or anything at least in a few stories. Couldnt think of much being that.**

**Enjoy~!**

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**Chapter 5- Normal**

Height was a problem for Karkat before, but he never thought he would miss being short.

"FUCK. GOGDAMN IT EGBERT GET THE FUCK DOWN!"

"Make me."

Karkat had chased John into a cramped part of the lab, normally if he would run into something; he wouldn't feel anything but a sting, but being in this human body he felt like he just got punched in the stomach.

"Don't bruise me!"

Karkat looked up, attempting to snarl with bucked teeth didn't work, it only made the other laugh; instead he walked out.

"Hey Karkat? Karkat! Don't leave me up here.. I.. I can't get down from the machine!"

"Too bad fuckass, you should have thought of that before you threw a bucket at me- by the way…I decline that invitation for the time being." Karkat mumbled the last part, only irritating the other even more.

"Huh?"

Karkat stopped at the corner, and watched the other fail, miserably at getting down a short distance. For Karkat that is.

He sighed as John fell down, face first.

No matter what the situation he was in, he wouldn't ever change.

"Pon pon way way way pon way pon pon pon."

"A little more Dave you almost got it."

Dave groaned as he replayed the song. His brother had insisted to learn Pon Pon, for he was taking him to an anime convention.

"Bro.. this is embarrassing."

Dirk laughed.

"Nah it's not just keep up with your feet." Dirk motioned with his hand, for he was on webcam with his little brother. He tried his best to teach him things and care of him, despite their distance.

"Ready ichi, nii, san, yo- SUGOI!"

Dave patted his head and moved his arms to the beat to match his brothers. Dave didn't notice a rather pissed troll and a smirking human lurking in the door frame.

"Pffft…"

Dave turned around in mid stance.

"Uh…..this isn't what it looks like."

Karkat started to laugh as he gazed upon a teal haired girl dancing in a video.

"Hey guys."

John peered over Karkat's shoulder and waved.

"Hi Mr. Strider!"

Dirk blinked.

"Uh hi Karkat.." Dirk lowered his voice, but still able to be heard among the other two.

"Since when is Karkat.. so.. happy?"

"We switched bodies, and don't ever fucking expect me to smile like a fucking idiot, not in a million sweeps."

John nudged Karkat in the side.

"Language."

Dirk laughed and motioned the boys closer.

"It's alright, Karkat is known for his foul language, unlike you two, don't ever do that."

"Bro, seriously you're embarrassing…."

"You want embarrassing? Fine. One time when Dave was little he used to suck on a smuppets nos-"

"BRO LEAVE!"

Dirk laughed, nearly falling out of his chair before saying his goodbyes and closing off the chat.

Dave turned around.

"How about you both don't say a fucking word about this and we get you back to normal, okay?"

Karkat and John both looked at each other and nodded.

"Fine."

"Thith thould do it."

Sollux banged on the machine one last time before looking at his handy work again.

"Fixed. Don't break it thith time- matter of fact let me preth the buttonth."

Sollux ushered them onto the platform and readied himself at the station.

"Ready?"

They both nodded as they braced themselves, a bright light filled the room in a blind white, before fading back to normal.

"Oh.. thhit…"

"What the fuck now Captor? Did you manage to screw shit up worse than the fuckass he- IM ME AGAIN! ABOUT FUCKING TIME!" Karkat touched his horns and his arms. He was himself.

"I can fly again hehe." John leaped up and soared around the room.

"Show off." Karkat mumbled as he crossed his arms.

Sollux took his chance to leave.

Karkat shrugged being it was some 'nerdy tech thing' and resulted in throwing objects to see what would knock down the flying fuckass.

"Huh.. Something smells like blue raspberries and inappropriate glee."

Dave waved his hand in front of his face.

"Heheh, Dave is this you?"

Dave turned around, hearing that voice that was his voice- wait a minute.

Dave touched his face and shades- he wasn't himself he was-

"Terezi?!"

They switched bodies.

"Heheh cool kid you look delicious, even better than the scent alone."

Oh.. Fuck, where is Karkat and John when you need them, more importantly, who screwed it up this time.

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**The end.**

**Hm.. going to stick with some fluff stories for awhile. Thanks for reading.**


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